avatarfuuta

I feel so terrible. Seriously how does it always get worse than it already is goddammit. There's EVERYBODY now wanting me to get hospitalized, my parents, my aunt, my doctors. Screw all these idiots, I don't wanna. I feel enough of a freak already without them putting me in some place with people who're probably weirder than me. Oh yeah if I don't do this hospitalization my parents are kicking me out, how good is that. No money, no graduation paper, nothing. Also I feel so fucking alone. And useless. Usually when I see gorgeous art it makes my day, some times I feel bad cause I can't compare with it but I still enjoy it and am motivate

I wonder how many times they have to kill me before I finally do it myself. Must be a cool show to watch me, cause as long as they're there destroying all I manage to put back together of myself I have a big smile on my face like look at all the fuck I give you assholes, then as soon as I'm alone I start crying my eyes out. The fuck did I do to deserve all of this.

so as per usual I auto-tag myself from ~CharcoalShadows (https://www.deviantart.com/charcoalshadows) the rules are: 1. You must post the rules. 2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal 3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer. 1. I feel like I'm dying in this place, I wanna get the fuck out forget everything and start from scratch. 2. I've been ruined or at least scarred for life by my life, my parents especially. 3. Sometimes I feel like I'm an okay person and someone might actually want to become part of my life. Then I wake up. 4. This morning I'm feeling so